Runs that already has my money:
US Half in SF – April 8
Ragnar Relay Race in SoCal – April 20-21

Runs I’m thinking about giving my money to: 
10/14/12 – Nike Women’s Half Marathon
10/20/12 – Run for your lives San Diego/Los Angels
or
10/27/12 – Run for your lives Baltimore

[I'll update as I lose my mind and maybe sign up for more]

Lyrics:

I’ve been living in this house here
Since the day that I was born
These walls have seen me happy
But most of all they’ve seen me torn
They’ve heard the screaming matches
That made a family fall apart
They’ve had a front row seat
To the breaking of my heart

7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
7 times 70 times
There’s healing in the air tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around

I remember running down the hallway
Playing hide and seek
I didn’t know that I was searching
For someone to notice me
I felt alone and undiscovered
And old enough to understand
Just when I’m supposed to be learning to love you
Let me doubt again

7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
7 times 70 times
There’s healing in the air tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around

I lost count of the ways you let me down
But no matter how many times you weren’t around
I’m all right now

God picked up my heart and helped me through
And shined a light on the one thing left to do
And that’s forgive you
I forgive you

7 times 70 times
If that’s the cost I’ll pay the price
7 times 70 times
i’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way

7 times 70 times
There’s healing in this house tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around
Yeah, I’m gonna wrap it all around

I’ve been living in this house here
Since the day that I was born

I guess you’re here again. For some reason, as the years pass, it doesn’t make it easier…

This too, shall pass.

People say and do hurtful things…whether intentional or not. I’m a very insecure girl, full of mistakes. But without those mistakes I would never learn, and without learning – I will never grow.

Part of what I’m really working on is finding peace. Peace with my life, myself, and those around me.

——————————————//———————————————–

“Thank you for enemies Lord, for they drive me back to you in prayer.
Thank you God for your sun that rises on everyone.
May it bring warmth and comfort to my enemies today.
Bless them Lord.  Heal the hurts in their lives just as you heal mine.
Give me the grace to show your love to them today.

Thank you God for this rain that you have sent to quench your earth.
May it quench the thirst of my enemies today.
Bless them Lord.  And as you have forgiven me,
May your Spirit give me the grace I need to forgive my enemies today.

Thank you for these tangible reminders that your grace is bestowed on all.
And when the pain of hurt and hatred begin to overwhelm me,
and I consider seeking solace in resentment and revenge,
may your Holy Spirit direct me to the only place I can receive true comfort
and healing – in your loving embrace.  Amen”

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

——————————————————//———————————————————

Everyone makes mistakes. It’s up to the individual[s] to address, admit, and find the path to resolve these mistakes. It can be something as simple as putting knives in the silverware drawer, or as complex as marrying someone because you felt it was the “next step.”

Sometimes we do things that feels like it’s right, but ends up wrong — other times, we  make decisions that feels so wrong, but ends up right. A small, simple, innocent mistake as putting a knife in the silverware drawer can result in an unknown person cutting themselves accidentally. Marrying someone because it felt like it was the “next step” could result in a major heartbreak for one or both parties involved [maybe more], disappointment, and wasted time. I’ve watched the second mistake  happen, and it effected me personally — as the child. The divorce was devastating for a child to comprehend, but as I grow older — I realize it was the right thing for both of them.

Life is all about choices and free will. Part of having that responsibility is making mistakes. Who didn’t try to touch a flame when they were little? I sure did — I learned real quick to not do it again though! As people, we learn from the result of those mistakes and we move on. Sometimes – they’re not mistakes — they’re just experiences. Every fork in the road, at the end of every page — you get to do a Pick-Your-Own-Adventure. As you turn the page, you learn more — and you begin to choose things differently than you did before.

How many of us has said to ourselves, “Man, if I only knew then, what I knew now…” ?

Everyone starts their journey to move forward. Not to turn back and go back to where you started — Could you ever go back to the Garden of Eden with just trees and animals now that you’ve had technology, knowledge and love? Well – maybe some can, but I don’t think I could. Not unless I can go back to square 1 with my memories erased. No one starts a book to only read chapter 1, if anything most people will read the last chapter to know the ending!

Life is hard. We can choose to live in the past, the comfortable, familiar grounds — or we can make a choice that may [or may not] be the correct decision. All you can do is live with the decision that you’ve made instead of dwelling. Jumping into the unknown is always risky and terrifying; these should not be the reasons to prevent you from having a better future.

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams…” – Paolo Coelho, The Alchemist.

I fear.

What I fear more, is falling into complacency. It’s not in our design, our nature. As we grow older, we become more secure in our comfort and choose the safer path. You know not to go biking down a huge hill with no reserve if you can’t ride a bike very well; when you were young, you were much more adventurous. Isaiah 32:9-20 even shows that complacency is something to be feared. Things will always get worse before it gets better, but – things will always get better as long as you don’t trap yourself.

It will all be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

All I can do is look forward and look for tomorrow. Tomorrow is a brand new day. “Only Rainbows after rain; the sun will always come again. ” – Andy Grammar

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him. [Buddha]

——————————————————-//——————————————————-

Thank you everyone.
For your support.
For your love.

I’m truly blessed and I know that nothing will ever taint my spirit with so many people keeping me on the right path.

Happiness is a journey, not a destiny. I’m so glad that I have everyone during this voyage through life.

I still have tons of pictures that I took in San Francisco that I still need to post on my flickr.

There’s so much I want to say, but not enough time to put the pieces together to put it down on paper. Maybe I need to start keeping my journal again. That’s where all my ideas seemed to come from.

Here’s one of my faves from Big Sur though.

Big Sur as the sun sets

Hopefully I’ll get to writing again soon. I hate that I haven’t been doing it.

[shrug] No worries. Things will come your way. Whether you believe in God or not, just take it for what it basically means. It will eventually get better, and when that opportunity comes, it will be beyond your imagination.

—————————————–//—————————————–

For all of those single people who keep wondering why they are not in a relationship and who keep trying to make it happen and it doesn’t work, this may be what you are looking for… Prepare your hearts and be open to your answer for right now…

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone– to have a deep soul relationship with another… to be loved thoroughly, and exclusively.

But God, to a Christian, says,

..”No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me… with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me…to having an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone, discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me… exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things, keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait. That’s all.

Don’t be anxious.

Don’t worry.

Don’t look at the things others have gotten or that I’ve given them.

Don’t look at the things you think you want.

You just keep looking off and away up to me, or you’ll miss what I want to show you.

And when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would dream. You see, until you are ready, (I am working even this moment to have both of you ready at the same time) until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me, and is thus the perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me, and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you.

Believe it and be satisfied…..”

I took some okay pictures, but I had more fun taking pictures of some of the tulips that had just starting blossoming!

Here are some of my faves. Of course, as always, the full set is on my flickr

I still haven’t even had the chance to go through my NYC pictures.

I will soon though!!!